Suicide

I was driving tonight and came upon a group of three people walking along the sidewalk. I may have been driving ten miles over the 35mph speedlimit, but as I got closer, one of them stepped out into the street, her back to me. She was wearing tight jeans and yellow uggs. I swerved out of her way and honked furiously. I was livid. She was drunk. Maybe she was nudged a little by one of her male counterparts in play. Why die near Christmas? Why do that to me...

The M-Word

My elderly step-grandmother asked me about m-- when I had the pleasure of seeing her during a brief family reunion. "Are you going to get m-- before your Papa dies?" she asked. My breath choked in my throat the way it always does, and I hope she took this to mean that I objected to the question both physically and metaphysically.

But with equal offense, I returned: "Well, when is Papa going to die?"

In Love

I hope my career lasts as long as my relationship: I want to die in the arms of my beloved while editing a paper.